Romantic Relationships in the Classroom

**The views expressed in this blog are my personal views and do not represent the official position of Metropolitan State University of Denver or ACUPA.**

Even in the darkest of times we have the right to expect some illumination, and that such illumination may well come less from theories and concepts than from the uncertain, flickering, and often weak light that some men and women, in their lives and their works, will kindle under almost all circumstances and shed over the time span that was given them on earth…

—Hannah Arendt, Men in Dark Times

“Wait till the semester ends isn’t really realistic,” said one MSU Denver faculty member during a recent discussion on amorous relationships between employees and students. MSU Denver’s Policy Advisory Council, a group that provides recommendations to the President and Board of Trustees on university-wide policies, is currently pondering such questions as, “Should a college regulate consensual relationships?” and “Does love belong in the classroom?”

Arguments against allowing relationships include unfair power differentials between employees and students and concerns about actual or perceived bias in grading or other program benefits. Also, what if a relationship begins as consensual and then turns sour? How are other students and faculty impacted by the relationship?

The Policy Advisory Council is looking at how amorous relationship policies fit in with more general policies, including quid pro quo sexual harassment, conflict of interest and employee benefits policies. For instance, MSU Denver recently revised its tuition benefits policy to allow employees’ spouses and dependents to take MSU Denver courses tuition-free. An employee’s son or daughter could potentially take a course from a parent. Is the conflict of interest less if an employee has a personal relationship with a student but is not involved romantically? Trying to untangle the web of affectionate relationships seems nearly impossible when one begins to list common power differentials (tenured versus tenure-track or adjunct faculty, etc.).

Beyond Sex for Grades

Some acknowledgment that love lies at the core of many mentor-protégé relationships would help to ease anxiety over regulating affairs of the heart. Take, for example, the romance of philosopher Hannah Arendt and her (married) professor, Martin Heidegger. Their relationship is said to have been an inspiration for Heidegger’s influential, philosophical work, Being and Time.

In his first letter to Arendt from February 1925, Heidegger wrote:

Everything should be simple and clear and pure between us. Only then will we be worthy of having been allowed to meet. You are my pupil and I your teacher, but that is only the occasion for what has happened to us. I will never be able to call you mine, but from now on you will belong in my life, and it shall grow with you. We never know what we can become for others through our Being.

How humans are shaped by both physical and metaphysical boundaries, including the presence of other individuals, is also a theme in Arendt’s philosophy. Would these contributions to philosophy have been made without the philosophers’ experience of pushing against metaphysical and ethical boundaries? Does a blanket policy prohibiting romantic relationships ignore that love is often a motivating factor for learning and intellectual growth?