Does your policy support or stress your employees?

Death affects us in different ways. As much as we may think we understand someone else’s grief following the loss of a loved one, we can never really know how they feel. Many factors go into the way we experience grief. Our relationship to the individual, the circumstances of their death, the last memory we have of that person, the things we said or didn’t say to them before they were gone, what we believe others expect from us after the death. As an employer, does your institution’s bereavement policy bring needed support to the grieved or does it add stress to an already difficult time? Consider a few aspects of your bereavement policy to ensure it works for both your institution and your employees.

Number of Days in Paid Status

For most employers, the number of days of paid bereavement leave depends on the relationship of the employee to the deceased. More time is given to close relatives like parents, spouses, children, and siblings, with less time offered to more distant relations like uncles, aunts, and cousins. But families are complicated. What about relatives that live in the employee’s home? What about in-laws and step-relatives? If an employee’s spouse loses a parent and needs to make arrangements, it seems likely that the employee would be involved in those arrangements and would need the same amount of time as if it were their own parent.

While lines do need to be drawn somewhere, consider whether widening the circle of relatives for whom the employee is allowed longer bereavement leave causes any real detriment to the institution. An employee who is granted sufficient time away will be more productive when they return to work.

Timeframe for Taking Bereavement Leave

In the United States, it is common for funerals and other services or memorials for the deceased to happen within several days or a couple weeks of the death. Common, but not absolute. The circumstances of the individual’s death may require a delay in mourning rituals. Weather could play a factor in fulfilling the decedent’s wishes. A pandemic could prevent family from coming together right away. If your policy imposes a time limit by which bereavement leave needs to be taken, consider whether that limit allows enough flexibility for the employee. A two-week limit to take leave is a pretty short period of time. The weather is not likely to change much in two weeks if it’s January in New York. Offering employees a month or even six months can help them make decisions without undue pressure.

Does your policy require the employee to take all the leave consecutively? That, too, could put undue pressure on the grieved. If your policy allows five days of leave, it may be more helpful to allow the employee to divide that time up as they need it. An employee who feels supported in their time of need will likely be a more dedicated employee in the long run.

Documentation

Does your policy require that the employee turn in an obituary or other proof of loss? If so, why? Trust isn’t given, it is earned. Yes, there may be a few people who come up with phantom relatives or friends in order to get a day off. But do you really need to put your supervisors in a position of policing bereavement leave? Just because someone turns in an obituary for a sweet old lady who died last week, doesn’t mean that lady was really their aunt. Trust employees to be honest and do the right thing. The employees who need the time will be grateful that the process for taking leave was easy.